The Royal Prostate

 In Health, pensioners

When I think of the royal we(e), urinary retention comes to mind. That little gland is a damn nuisance, not just to Charles but to me. I have had trouble for years and only recently spoke to a urology consultant. What a job that is. How do they not get pissed off meeting dribbling men day after day? Whatever, he told me that my PSA had fallen and that was a relief. That test, unreliable as it is, at least points to a trend. Coming down is good, going up is bad. So, it was 5 mg of Finasteride for me. That medication destroys your remaining testosterone, the hormone that expands the prostate. It also reduces your masculinity, assuming you had any in your 70’s. I’m not singing soprano, not yet at least. The Royal prostate is on a similar journey, I suspect.

Sluggardly men

I am like most men, a little slow when it comes to the icky bits. However, the building urgency, the need to go for a wee, was a problem. It began at night, up three or four times. Then it started in the day, a sudden and urgent need to empty the bladder. In fairness, I went to the doctor pretty early and was soon referred to a urologist. The prostate was measured at 50 cc and then it was moving to 80 cc. A walnut is 16 cc, for heavens sake, so it was large. However, a larger prostate can carry a higher PSA. Consequently, I was told I could stick it out insofar as I could manage, without medication. It took about 4 years to worsen and that was when I began treatment. It will take 18 months to reduce sufficiently to stop pressing on my bladder.

The Royal Prostate

Retention is the worrying word. The urologist mentions that word and it sounds like a threat; the fact that you might not be able to wee. So, here I am, heading for a year on Finasteride and things are better. No dire urgency and periods of only getting out of bed once in the night. However, as it takes years for the prostate to grow, it takes years to shrink it. And if it works, no need for an operation. That’s not a piddling matter.

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