I mentioned in a recent post my desire to be an influencer. Now, it appears that M & S, Boden and Very have marketing teams seeking out the nano-influencer, bloggers with a small following. That’s me folks! It appears that we have a ring of authenticity. It’s also nice that we small people are called ‘commercially potent’. It’s a long time since the word potent applied to me, not since I drew my pension anyway. I shall sleep well tonight, dreaming about the power of the nano-influencer.

The Selfie

As for the obligatory selfie, will a photo do? Apparently, to look authentic it needs to be taken against a brick wall (don’t ask!) So here I am, all decked out, posing in M & S gear, namely shorts and short sleeved shirt. Okay, it is last years fashion (or was it the decade before?) The underwear is Lidl but you’re not seeing that. Nice bricks though, don’t you think?

Authenticity

For certain, you women know the truth about this photograph. How can I claim it to be authentic? I wear the shirt and shorts from M & S because they were approved – by Ann. Any sign of a nay and back on the rack they go. The fact is, I wouldn’t be shopping at all, left to me. It’s less nano-influencer and more nannied-influencer.

The Power of the Nano-Influencer

Reports say that some nano-bloggers are paid £250 for a post just like this. The really mega influencers, those with upwards of 250,000 followers, can be paid £50,000 or more. Consequently, I, dear reader, am an unknown, unpaid, brand ambassador. I am still mulling over whether to pose in incontinence wear. This thought reminds me of Zuri. Was there a flap under her skins to detach and allow easy deposits upon the ground? It’s a delicate subject and I don’t want to upset those people who use these products, at least not until I reach that leaky stage myself. A future as a leaky, unremunerated, nannied-influencer, I fear.