My father was a good father. He lavished love on his children. Subsequently, he supported them through school and took them on holidays. He then supported their children through university. Those grandchildren never forgot their New Forest holidays with him, the ponies and the huge skies. He also became an elder in his church and made donations. If all this sounds too good to be true then give yourself a pat on the back. Me, Tom and Sally, his lawful children, never experienced any of this. His concern was purely for his second family, the ones in the Emerald Isle. So, I have a Long Lost Family in Ireland!

What father?

After abandoning the family, my father never contacted us or paid a jot to keep us alive. Worse, his trips to the New Forest meant he had to cross to Holyhead and drive down the A5. He actually passed the house where we lived, in dire straights. What troubles me, I think, is that his second family knew him so well and I didn’t! I was only 8 when he left, my brother six and my sister 4. He took me to work occasionally, in his three wheeler van. He repaired freezers when he wasn’t warming up the boss’s secretary. This story came to mind because some of my nieces are now working on the family tree. However, my troubled history also leaps out the moment I watch ITV’s Long Lost Family. The unfairness heaped on children by adults will go with me to my (woodland) grave.

Long Lost Family

We are not in contact with my half family in Ireland, which is sad. Oddly enough, they were doing their family tree when they found us. I honestly think they believed that we were somehow unscathed by what had happened. When they heard our story I don’t think they could reconcile our experience with theirs. My half brother over there believed that he was the eldest son. Then, of course, he realised that I hold that position. He subsequently trained to become a psychotherapist but never offered me any sessions. My emotions, always somewhat distant, come closer with age. I would love to rid myself of my fathers genes, but only death will do that.