Jelly Babies Are Dangerous

 In Health, pensioners

Jelly Babies are dangerous. However, nobody could miss the red flash on the packet highlighting high sugars. As it was, that was precisely the reason why I was buying them. Oh, what a hazardous existence I lead, throwing all caution to the wind and ignoring the nanny state. The fact that I am lithe and lanky, and in no real danger from exposure to sugars is ignored. You may well be wondering why I was buying these dangerous sweets. Well, I was planning a tough run and aware that I might experience low blood sugars. I needed a sugary and easily absorbed sweet to suck. Not for once did it occur to me that Jelly Babies are dangerous.

On top of the world

On the day, we selected a handful of baby boys and girls (did you know that each has a name?) to go into our bumbag. We actually ate a number before we ran and ate more up on the high hills. They were tasty and rather moreish and I now wonder whether I am addicted. The gummy meltdown in the mouth is quick and rather fruity. That’s because the sweet packet highlights ‘new recipe’ and ‘real fruit juice and natural colours and flavourings’. The packet does not highlight pork gelatine. However, that’s an odd one, and not attractive to religions that reject anything piggy. Above all, the sweets worked and I never experienced low blood sugars. For instance, I did not fall over, a sure sign of low blood sugars. Whatever, eating sweets is rather like returning to childhood.

Jelly babies are dangerous

Upon reflection, I never knew this tiredness back in the day. The body stores glycogen in the muscles and this is often enough to keep a runner going for up to 3 hours. After that, they hit the wall. However, age has removed my muscles and presumably, that storage ability. I have also experienced anaemia in the past hence my diet of meat and especially liver. As a result, the jelly babies are now in my bumbag and the warnings ignored. Besides that, perhaps other warnings are appropriate. How about, “danger, pensioner chokes on jelly baby” or, “danger, any pensioners out on the Peak District hills”. What a way to go, running uphill! I have reminded Ann that such a demise is my preferred option, far more appealing than a nursing home.

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