How To Be The Honest Pensioner Blogger

 In pensioners, Social Life

I want to come clean, to be the honest pensioner blogger. I am not plugging products like Zoella, Rita Ora or Alexa Chung, whoever they are. It appears that the Competition and Markets Authority watchdog have warned sixteen so-called social influencers. If they promote products or services to their 70 million followers on Instagram then they must make this clear. They are just the tip of a very large commercial iceberg.

Social Influencer

Oh, I so want to be a social influencer. It’s not for the want of trying; to be a hip oldie. It occurred to me that trousers (what an antiquated word that sounds) are needed by all older men. Why not buy a pair at M & S at Castlepoint and feature them (is that a plug?) in a post. It did strike me that associating these trousers to the Neolithic and Zuri in 2200 BC might pose a problem; Ann suggested moleskin would create a link (Zuri wore skins!) As it was, actually buying my garment was far harder. Rack after rack of trousers, all highlighted as ‘slimfit’. I, a classic slim pensioner, tried on three pairs, none of which fitted. Even the moleskin trousers were not real moleskin!

Out Of The Commercial Loop

I didn’t recognise this problem when I began a pensioner blog; nobody expects me to plug anything. Because if you’re not into food, fashion or cosmetics then you are doomed. I thought about promoting incontinence pads but finding the right photograph made me anxious. Consequently, and becoming desperate, I put Viagra on the list but then deleted it; people would start sending me personal photos from Russia. It struck me that periodicals for the older reader might be an opening so I drew up a list; Readers Digest, The Oldie, Reminisce, Good Old Days. Making up the list made me depressed.

The Honest Pensioner Blogger

There’s slightly more to this than meets the eye. On two occasions I have tried to join a local blogger’s club but nobody will reply to my emails. These bloggers are all into fashion, cosmetics, reviewing local eateries and travel. Have they reviewed my blog and decided that I am not a social influencer? For certain, they are all young but is there more to it? I suspect that those who organise the club, like their bloggers, all seek potential financial returns from these lucrative products via the internet. As for outmoded me, it’s time to put on a new pad, find the bifocals, and attend my latest evening class; the skills of Dorset molecatching. I’ll have those trousers yet!

ps. M & S sent Ann a discount voucher for the cafe: does this count as a payment?
pps. I’ve just realised, I’m plugging a book!

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