We humans are so gullible! I feel so gullible too. I swallowed all that hype about sweet potato and how it helped people to reach the age of 100 years. What’s not to like? They created the blue zones, that is those areas of the world where large groups of centenarians are living. Some of those centenarians were eating sweet potato so you can imagine what happened. This vegetable became a life enhancer, a veritable agent of longevity. However, it is just a vegetable. The researchers, it appears, ignored the fact that these people ate a lot of red meat. Some other data was just cheating Mediterraneans. In both Greece and Sardinia, a lot of those centenarians were, to put it mildly, dead. Their relatives just kept claiming their pensions. It was all fibs and sweet potato lies!

Local produce

I am fed up with all this promotion of imported foods. Almonds, avocado pears, and all those other exotic foods. What about eating all our own plain fare? I plan to start the swede lovers association, or SLA. Now, as soon as you saw the word swede, you switched off. Had you seen words like avocado or pawpaw you would have been intrigued. Swede; no! However, its high in vitamins and minerals and low in fats and calories, a perfect superfood. All it really lacks is the hype!

Sweet potato lies

We need an alternative to the blue zones, a swede zone. Cheap, nutritious and, albeit, a little unsexy. However, nobody with constipation is truly sexy and we will keep British farmers in business. It goes well in a pasty and mixes well with normal potatoes and carrots. That is a British menu, all home grown and rock bottom prices. That exotic fancy stuff no longer imported and all those stats on longevity ignored. We will create swede centenarians, all lithe and fit. We will photograph them sitting on the toilet!